Sunday, June 30, 2013

That Time I Destroyed Someone's Weekend

When I go to the HEB pharmacy, I usually see the same woman working at the counter.  I've noticed that she seems to have a hard time with people, but knowing that she gets yelled at or has to answer stupid questions all day long makes me feel for her.  (This is why I hide from people and believe I should stay locked in a room with books all day.)  She hardly smiles, so I make it a point to have a good conversation with her each time I go, even if all I can manage to get out is "Hello!" and "Did you cut your hair?  It's so cute!"  Maybe it's silly, but I just like the challenge of making this woman smile, just for a second.

But of course, me being me, I tend to have really great ideas and screw them up a lot.  I'm like a social klutz with an overabundance of good intentions and a lack of common sense.  Nobody ever thinks they'll be a Destroyer, but it seems to happen to me all the time, even though I use logic and pure scientific fact to point out that they're making a big deal of nothing.  For some reason, I still get surprised when this makes it worse.  (My dad refers to my klutziness as Lucy Ricardo Disease.)

At the end of February I was there for some allergy meds, because I'm allergic to Austin from December to April, and there wasn't even a line.  HEB was covered in notices about remembering to bring your own cloth bags beginning March 1st.  As the lady was putting the prescriptions into the little plastic zip bag they always used, she pointed to one of the notices.

Cashier:  Pretty soon we won't have plastic anymore, and we'll be saying, "Remember when we used to have plastic bags?"
Me:  Ha!  Just like, "Remember when Pluto was a planet?"

And then, unexpectedly, she started to freak out.

Cashier:  What? What happened to Pluto? Why isn't it a planet? Is it still there? Is it a star?
Me:  (trying to remain calm and matter-of-fact) It's fine. It's just been decided that Pluto doesn't meet the criteria to be considered a planet.
Cashier:  Who the hell gets to decide things like that? What if I decide that it is a planet again?
Me:  Well, scientists decided it. I wasn't too thrilled with the decision, either, at least for historical value.  Because, I'm from Kansas, and it's important to us.  I even have it on a shirt.  Believe me, I'll have words with Neil Degrasse Tyson if I meet him.  Like, "I liked Pluto; ergo, I do not like you."  Ha...ha?
Cashier:  It's just so sad. I thought we had nine planets.

Well, I had thought Pluto's tragic demise was old news, but I guess I don't get out enough.

Obviously, there were no smiles that day.

My thoughts, exactly.

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